Missed That Memo: Twilight
by Cager Macleod
Summary: If your confused and don't understand the Twilight phenominum, this is for you. You're almost Complete, Completely unoffical guide to TWILIGHT.


**Missed That Memo – Twilight.**

_Brought to you today by the letter Z, pronounced ZED_

In this episode of Missed That Memo, we are entering Stephanie Meyer's dream with the Humans and the Vampires, enter Twilight

The plot:

A girl, unlike no other, moves to Forks (or Fawkes if you must) and there she is seduced by a Mystical Vampire with excellent hair-care, together they fight through thick and thin to become TEH MARRIED

THE CHARACTERS:

BELLA SWAN:

A Human from the 909(She says she's from Arizona but that is so the law don't realise.) Her mother is on the run from the law with her Phil (apparently something to do with Meth Labs) So she is dumped in Forks. Once in Forks she meets a Vampire with good teeth and a fondness of hair product. They fall hopelessly in love.

EDWARD CULLEN:

Was a travelling door to door sales-man before he got bitten by an angry client and turned into a Vampire. He was adopted by a very rich family and sparkles in the sun because his clothes are made of solid gold. Loves Bella almost as much as his Hair product and teeth whitener.

JACOB:

A Manhattan native who transplanted to the West side. (Washington in the house.) When he is mad he turns into a Supawolf that has a strange affinity with the Yankees. He likes to eat Vampires and has been known too cook them in Pies.

CHARLIE SWAN: (Not to be confused with Charlie sheen.)

Is the Commander in Chief of the Forks Fire fighters association. He was able to escape Renee's(Bella s mother) life of crime when Bella was only 1. He has (un)willingly accepted Bella into his life when he found out she would go to jail if he didn't.

AN EXTRACT OF THE FIRST CHAPTER OF THE STORY: Just a taster so you will buy the Book!

It was hard leaving my mother and her boyfriend, but when the L.A police department are after you, you don't really have a choice. Renee (My Mother) and Phil (The Boyfriend) dumped me, suitcase and all on the front step of Charlie's (My father) house.

"Bye love," Renee called, waving her tattooed arm and smiling widely. Her two front teeth missing.

"See you soon, Bell." Phil called from the driver's side. He was big, fat and a biker. They waved once more and Phil hit the accelerator so hard that the car skidded as it rocketed down the drive and to the road.

I didn't want to leave my trailer park home in the 909, but the police raided and found our Meth lab and Phil was almost caught trafficking in Santa Monica, so we had to bounce. And fast. Renee and Phil were hoping to cross the Boarder to Mexico, were they made some friendly contact with a drug cartel. It would be a good job for them, running drugs across the boarder from Mexico into the US, so I knew they would be okay and they were good at that, which was a plus. That was Renee and Phil to a Tee, good, hard, honest workers.( Unlike my father, who was the Chief Fire fighter, we had no respect for him, he didn't know an honest days work). Renee had said, however, that I was too young to help so I would have to live with Charlie until I had at least learnt how to shoot an Uzi.

Of course, as is Renee's way, she had not bothered to tell Charlie I was moving in, so now I stood on the doorstep, suitcase in hand waiting. I knocked on the door and stood back as I heard movement behind it. The door slowly swung open and Charlie stood framed in the doorway. He's eyes bludged in surprise as they landed on me.

"What the hell?" was all he could splutter.

(End chapter one Extract)

And there we have it, Twilight at a glance.

You know what they say. You can't judge a book by its cover.

Tune in next time for Missed That Memo.

**A/N. If you have read the previous page you have agreed to the terms and conditions in which you have agreed not to flame. Reviews and feedback are always welcome. I hope you enjoyed this instalment of Missed That Memo.**

**Thanks for reading please review, I love hearing from my viewers(or readers if you prefer :D) **

**Paws and whiskers**

**Cager.**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight or any of the characters.


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